If writing this column each week has taught me anything, it’s that people are ready for a new way to date. A revamped era of modern love. We no longer want to feel like we’re ordering our next partner up as easily as we’re deciding on what to eat off DoorDash.
So, when I saw that the bio on The Singles Society’s Instagram page declared, “Drop the apps, raise the bar,” I immediately clicked the link below those words. “We’ve created a vibrant community where singles can connect in real life,” reads the group’s homepage. “Our curated and themed events are designed for ambitious singles, ages 25–35, who value genuine connections and quality interactions.”
Brewery meet-ups, bowling tournaments, wine tastings, holiday parties, pickleball events—they’re all part of the formula that has attracted more than 28,000 followers on Instagram. Though the group is not located in San Diego (it’s based in Charlotte, NC), it seems to have latched onto a new trend in the dating scene: in-person group events.
Yes, I know speed dating and singles mixers aren’t a new concept, but anyone who has ever tried to get to know a stranger on a 30-second “date” knows how awkward and cringe-worthy those events can be. What’s going on these days feels more intentional—activity-based gatherings intended to casually bring together singles with similar interests.
It’s a natural progression of a phenomenon that was already gathering steam. “A perfect storm of pandemic-induced loneliness coupled with serious dating-app fatigue has turned the city’s sports leagues, running clubs, and gyms into the hottest places to date in New York,” The Cut reported last week.
The publication adds that some organizations have made matchmaking part of their mission. Hinge recently granted $25,000 to the Brooklyn-based Commonwealth Running Club to help it grow its in-person events.
It seems things have come full circle—we’re ready to meet our partners in real life again.
“I think people are craving in-person connections, and we enjoy sporting events. We know that men frequent sporting events and sports bars, so we figured, ‘Let’s go where they already are,’” says Drafted Events co-founder Jillian Pfeiffer.
I came across Drafted Events on IG recently (and if you’re an Unhinged subscriber, you got the inside scoop a few weeks ago). Pfeiffer and Marlenn Alba co-founded the LA-based group one night after trying to decide where to go out to meet a potential match.
“We’ve both been on the dating apps, and we’re sick of what we were coming across, and of having endless conversations that don’t really lead anywhere,” Pfeiffer says. “That’s how it started.”
They decided to invite singles to sporting events around the city, helping them interact in a fun and familiar setting without the awkwardness of first-date questions or cumbersome icebreakers. For their first event in April of this year, Pfeiffer and Alba rented out a section at Dodger Stadium on their own dime. About 60 attendees showed up.
Since then, they’ve held seven events, garnered nearly 15,000 followers between IG and Facebook, and launched their first San Diego meetup on June 22 at the Padres vs. Brewers game. The event had 95 participants at the pregame and 70 men and women continued onto Petco.
“We’re not really a Dodger’s fan base group. We are a sports-centered singles group,” Alba says. “The Padres had a lot of demand, so that’s why we thought of heading down to San Diego. And Jillian actually lived in San Diego for some time.”
Pfeiffer has already seen how successful these events can be amongst singles in their 30s and 40s. “We’ve heard through the DMs that there were definitely some connections that led to first, second, and even third dates,” she says.
In 2017, a similar idea had begun to take shape in San Diego, but, it wasn’t until December 2023 when the YES app finally launched, with the intention of helping daters “begin with experiences, not swipes.”
Instead of presenting users with a rolodex of potential matches, the app offers singles with a selection of people on a “Discover” page. A key part of each profile is the user’s suggested date—anything from “pickleball and drinks” to “a bike ride in Coronado.” Users can also choose to go on one-on-one dates, double dates, or group dates via the app, helping reduce the anxiety that may come with meeting strangers online.
“Then, you swipe down to get to the next date or the next profile, but it’s not like a yes or no situation such as with Tinder. You can converse from there, but that date is already set,” says YES co-founder Jordan McMurtry. “So you apply to a date and you already know where it is, what it is—time, date, place, and who’s paying.”
According to McMurtry, the app has about 4,500 users and counting. “We really wanted to create an app that you could connect with like-minded individuals in person, no matter the setting,” she adds.
As part of that mission, the YES app throws singles meetups across the city every month. Earlier this week, the YES team collaborated with adult athletics league Volo Sports to host a cocktail tasting at Techo Beso. The Gaslamp Quarter hotel bar is also the setting for the app’s sold-out pool party on July 13.
If you didn’t get tickets, don’t worry, Drafted Events will put on their second SD meetup on July 31 in partnership with San Diego FC. So check their socials for updates if sports and cute people are your thing.
Something tells me that we’re looking at a new era in dating. I think we’re hungry for connection and eager to figure out how to move past the transactional nature of dating apps. I expect we’ll see more and more social groups catering to singles in cool, unique ways. As I come across these groups and check them out, I’ll be including them in my newsletter. Happy dating!
If you’re new to Unhinged, catch up on all the dating chats you’ve missed here and follow along at @monicles and @sandiegomag on Instagram to know when a new article drops each week.
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